LOST: Blinding darkness and hot air
by zeusfluff
Summary: A series of AU one-shot's that tell of Juliet dealing with the loss of James, her encounter with the Black Smoke Monster, and her daughter.
1. Blinding darkness and hot air

_**Blinding darkness and hot air**_

* * *

The blinding darkness was all around Juliet. The hot island air somehow stuck to her skin like packing tape. It was somewhat suffocating. She'd forgotten how dark the jungle could get, especially at night. She'd brought a torch and lit it, but somewhere along the way, she'd dropped it when she started running. The Black Smoke Monster was always looking for its next victim, and apparently she was on his list. Now why she had followed the image of her dead fiancé into the jungle was now the most stupid thing she could've done. Not only had she just put herself in danger, but her daughter as well, who was safely tucked in her belly.

Hiding in a mess of tangled trees, Juliet almost wanted to hold her breath. The ticking and roaring sound the Black Smoke made was enough to stop her heart. But adrenaline was keeping her going. She could hear it searching for her, but she kept quiet. Maybe if she kept quiet it would pass over her and leave her be. She gasped as she felt the Black Smoke shake the tree she was hiding in. She was doing her best to keep as far away from it as she could. Shutting her eyes, she hoped she could will it away, but when she opened them, there before her lie someone who'd been dead for nearly 6 years.

"Ed?"

The image of her ex-husband Edmund Burke stood before her, glaring at her with such contempt. She knew that the Black Smoke tricked everyone that came into contact with it. She had to learn not to play its game. It was manipulative much like Ben. But that was a separate issue.

"Juliet. You know what you have to do. Why don't you come out from under those tree branches and let's talk?"

Juliet didn't move from her spot under the strange and twisted tree. She stood her ground and shook her head. Then as quickly as it came, the Black Smoke was gone. It had been defeated, although she knew only temporarily, it would be back. Now she was left alone under the strange tree with twisted branches, wondering why the hell she'd come out into the jungle in the middle of the night.


	2. Never forgotten and loved twice as much

_**Never forgotten and loved twice as much**_

* * *

Juliet stared down at the tiny pink and wrinkly bundle in her arms and began to cry. Cara was hope, and even though she wasn't alone, she wouldn't forget the sacrifice James had made to save the both of them. Placing a kiss to the crown of Cara's tiny head, Juliet spoke down to her.

"You will be loved twice as much Cara. Love from me and from your daddy. Even though he isn't here."

After the events of the week before with the Black Smoke Monster, Juliet thanked her lucky stars that Cara had come into the world, or rather the island healthy. She'd worried about what would've happened if she'd fallen for the Smoke Monster's manipulations. If she had fallen into its trap, both her and Cara wouldn't be alive. Or worse, she'd have ended up giving birth in the jungle. She hadn't wanted that. It's been one hell of a week, but I've got the stars to thank for my daughter.

The strange thing was, she didn't remember coming back to the beach. There was a blank space in her memories from the past week. Jack told her that he'd found her lying next to the lagoon, unconscious. The lagoon was nowhere near where she'd been hiding under the tree that the Smoke Monster was trying to coax her out from. Cara cooed and brought Juliet out of her thoughts.

"How did mommy end up by the lagoon?"

Cara's response to her mother's question was grabbing at pieces of Juliet's shirt with her tiny hands. James would never be forgotten and Cara would be loved twice as much. The island had taken many things away from her over the last 6 years, including her fiancé James, but even though she was alone, she still had Cara. So in truth, she wasn't really alone, as long as she had her daughter. They were both going to get off this island together and James would never be forgotten. Cara was loved twice as much.


	3. Darkness

_**Darkness**_

* * *

The suffocating heat and darkness of the island was preventing Juliet from moving. She was lying on something hard. That much she knew. Her mind began to panic when she felt something wet and sticky on the side of her head. Then she heard a voice come to her aid.

"Juliet if you can hear me, open your eyes."

 _Jack? Had he followed her out here into the jungle when she went after James?_ Her eyes felt like they were glued shut. She tried to speak, but a groan escaped instead. Something was pinning her down. There was something sticky down by her legs. Panicking more, Juliet desperately tried to open her eyes. She gulped and then heard Kate's voice off to the right of her.

 _"Jack, look..."_

She could hear Jack's voice, but it was still faraway.

 _"Her water broke. She's probably been in labor all day. Help me get her up."_

Why couldn't she open her eyes? I'm right here you guys! Help me! Juliet could feel strong arms lift her from the hard ground below her. Every once in a while she would feel a palm frond or two in her face. Then she felt slightly cooler air on her face and realized she was inside a building. Her mind clicked when she figured out where she was. The Staff. The medical station. She felt the stronger bigger hands belonging to Jack settle her onto the bed. She could still hear his voice and it was still faraway.

 _"Could you get me that gown over there Kate? Thank-you. Watch her arms."_

Juliet became alarmed. It took a minute, but she finally opened up her eyes.

"What's going on?"

She saw relief wash over Jack's handsome features and he filled her in on the situation.

"Kate and I found you unconscious over by the lagoon. How'd you get there anyways?"

Disoriented and confused, Juliet watched the monitor that she was attached to and listened to its soft beeping. She croaked out her answer.

"I dunno. One minute I'm trapped in a tree with strange and twisted roots trying to hide from the Black Smoke Monster and then I don't remember what happened exactly after that. The lagoon is far from the tree I was hiding in. What's happening Jack? Is Cara alright?"

Jack tried to be reassuring towards Juliet, but his bedside manner had always lacked.

"She's doing well. Good respiratory movements. She'll be here in a couple of more hours."

Juliet felt her jaw drop. She hadn't intended to give birth to Cara today.

"What? Well how long have I been in labor for Jack?"

Jack stared at the ceiling as if trying to calculate the exact time frame. Then looking Juliet square in the face, he explained himself.

"You've probably been in labor all night. Your water broke about 35 minutes ago and your already dilated to 7 centimeters. I couldn't tell you if this was brought on by stress or your body simply said it was just time. Either way, this baby is coming _today_."

This gave Juliet time to become very nervous. She'd been preparing herself for months, but now she was afraid. She couldn't do this alone. Not without James. Especially not without him. She was so used to telling other women how things would go, but she wasn't so sure she had the courage to go through this alone. Her panic was beginning to seep through.

"Jack, I can't do this without James."

Jack felt pity for Juliet. But Juliet didn't need his pity. She wanted his understanding and for him to help her out.

"I don't need your pity Jack. I need you to help me."

Sighing, Jack planted himself on the stool next to the bed.

"You're not alone Juliet. I'm right here. I won't let anything happen to either of you. Ok?"

Juliet nodded and gave a tearful glance at the monitors.

* * *

"I'm doing the best I can! You told me to keep pushing and I'm doing that!"

Jack could tell Juliet was frustrated, but he also knew that she had a lot more courage and will than she lead people to believe.

"You're doing just fine Juliet. Just give me one more big push alright? One more."

Juliet was fed up with Jack's encouragements. She was completely done. She wanted nothing more than to have this baby out. Nostrils flaring, Juliet gathered every last ounce of her strength and gave one last hard push. She let out a silent breath as she began to hear her little girl give her first cry. Tears stung her eyes as Jack placed Cara on top of her stomach. Letting out a sob, Juliet placed a hand on top of Cara, then spoke to Jack.

"Thank-you Jack. She's beautiful."

She wasn't alone, and somewhere her fiancé James was watching the whole interaction between mother and daughter. She wasn't alone, that much Juliet knew. She wasn't in suffocating darkness anymore. She could finally see the light.


	4. The duplicate

_**The duplicate**_

* * *

Juliet could see James, and she was so close she could touch him. She wanted so badly to be in those safe, strong arms again. But something told her that this wasn't right. Should she follow her gut? Or follow him on a whim? She chose instead to follow on a whim. He now took her hand ever so lightly and led her into the blinding darkness and hot air of the night. She sighed as she watched him lead her into the heart of the jungle, never mind that it was the middle of the night and her ankles were about to explode with so much water retention. He was still the handsome man with the _adorable_ dimples who'd asked her to marry him.

"James, where are we going?"

James only put his index finger of his left free hand to his lips as a sign for her to stay quiet.

"Shh."

This was strange, James was always one to let her know all the details of something he was planning but he always saved the special surprise for last. Nonetheless Juliet still followed James, her torch lit the way. It was another twenty minutes before she finally tugged on James hand to stop him.

"James. STOP. I want to know where your taking me."

He only turned to face her with a strange smile on his face. Then he disappeared right before her eyes.

"James?"

Moving the torch from side to side Juliet looked for James all around her. She felt a sob coming on but stifled it when she began to hear a familiar roar and clicking coming in her direction. At first her entire body froze, unable to move.

This was only the second time she'd seen the Black Smoke Monster. Suddenly, she found herself able to move and she ran as fast as her swollen feet could carry her. In her haste, she'd dropped her torch and was now blindly running through the jungle with no way to know which direction she was going.

The darkness and the heat were threatening to swallow her whole. Her entire body slammed into a tree quite suddenly and she forced her hands to find the roots. She could see the silhouette of the strange looking tree even in the darkness.

"This is a really creepy tree."

Managing to squeeze herself under it, she held her breath for a moment while the roaring sound of the Black Smoke came ever closer. A sharp pain seized her and a cry of pain escaped her mouth, alerting the Black Smoke of where her hiding place was. Using the tree roots as support, she bit her lip to try and curb the pain. The tree felt as if it were beginning to rock from side to side, but she dug her bare feet into the earth below her. The roaring soon disappeared and she waited a minute or two before she stepped out from under the strange tree. Her mind was screaming at her to find some water. _I'm so thirsty._ But in the back of her mind, she knew that wasn't the reason she needed to find some water.

Again, blindly stumbling in the dark, Juliet began to feel the ground change, from soft earth below her feet, to something very hard. _Rock perhaps?_ She could now hear running water and she let out a sigh of relief. Something was slippery and wet under her feet and she felt them come out from under her, her head connecting with a very large boulder on the way down. Darkness swallowed her whole, she didn't know where she was exactly, just that there was a very loud waterfall.


	5. Stargazing and dreaming of home

_**Stargazing and dreaming of home**_

"Daddy? How many stars are in the sky?"

5-year-old Cara sat in the sand by the fire staring up at the sky with wonderment. James was sitting next to her and chuckled.

"Too many to count darlin'. You should be getting ready for bed soon. You listen to your mama now sweet girl. Got it?"

Cara nodded her head and scooted closer to James.

"But daddy, you said we could name stars tonight. Mama won't mind."

Juliet came up behind Cara and scooped her into her arms, making the girl squeal and giggle.

"Oh but I do mind, it's time for bed sweetheart. Go get under the blanket and I'll be in to tuck you in, in a few minutes. Ok?"

Cara nodded and got up, skipping away.

"Goodnight daddy."

James smiled at Cara's retreating form and watched as Juliet sat down next to him.

"She's beautiful blondie. She looks more and more like her mama every day. I just wish I could make it home with the two of you. Get off this damned rock. But we both know that I can never leave."

James pulled Juliet in for a kiss. When the two parted for air, Juliet sighed and looked up at the sky.

"All we can do is stargaze and dream of home huh? You wouldn't believe how much I've missed you over the years, James. Cara asks about you every day. She asks why you aren't here. Why it's just her and I. I do my best to explain it to her, but I don't think she really understands. As long as I have her I'm not really alone. A piece of you is in her. Looking at her, I see you reflected in her eyes. Alone and lonely is what I felt when you first left us, I blamed myself for you falling down the hatch hole. But I have her to fight for so I'm not alone."

In the firelight, Juliet could see a lone purple flower on top of a flat rock next to her. A smile graced her lips as she picked it up and smelled it.

"Thank-you for the flower James."

He'd disappeared into the night, and now she had Cara and the stars above to guide her, she wasn't alone.


End file.
